Temptations

To tell the truth, I am being tempted now on all fronts, in work, in life and in relationships. The allure of doing something dicey and not getting caught is the root of what makes a temptation click.

Eve fell for it, Adam, being a wuss, followed and now, in the grand tradition of things, I am next in line. What to do? My mind is wrecked with thoughts that I shouldn't even entertain in the first place! Is this the sign of the end or am I giving myself an excuse in the face of self-denial?

A friend of mine once said there many types of love and people who you love for a specific reason. Those that you love to settle down with, those whom you love to hold a conversation with and those, well, whom you love to get some lovin' from. What sort of love am I staring in the face? Where am I now in yet another crossroads of my existence in the grand universe? All I know is, the wrong move and someone up there will just tell me, "I told you so".

My conscience is niggling and yet I am going ahead, to see and to feel what I think will fufill me. Or is this a wasted effort? Am I thinking too much into the matter? After all, I was the one who has stirred up the nest of hornets and if I get stung, so be it - as long as there's a puddle of water where I can run to. Ok I am a coward who flees in the face of difficulty, I am a person who is not adept at handling tough, mindblowing situations but yet tumbles headlong into one. I just hope I am able to get a grip and remain in control. Lose it, and it's curtains.

Boy, it could all be foolish thinking on my part. Life has its intensely frustrating moments when you must make a tough choice. TV or the cookie jar? Static Gratification or physical contentment? Which will I choose?

God help me.

Amen.


Moments before the Fall...

What have I got to do to make you love me
What have I got to do to make you care
What do I do when lightning strikes me
And I wake to find that you're not there

What do I do to make you want me
What have I got to do to be heard
What do I say when it's all over
And sorry seems to be the hardest word

It's sad, so sad
It's a sad, sad situation
And it's getting more and more absurd
It's sad, so sad
Why can't we talk it over
Oh it seems to me
That sorry seems to be the hardest word

What do I do to make you love me
What have I got to do to be heard
What do I do when lightning strikes me
What have I got to do
What have I got to do
When sorry seems to be the hardest word

- Elton John (and of course, Blue), Sorry Seems to be the Hardest Word