Hostage

Just came back from watching Hostage, the show starring Bruce "Die Hard" Willis and a whole gang of uber unknowns. But oh well, luckily the movie was pretty delectable in its action sequences and the thrill factor but somehow, it was still pretty predictable and you know Bruce has no real chance of dying in the movie. hollywood always likes its heroes grizzled and world weary.

Such was the case of Willis' character who was previously a police negotiator who got was made to be a chief officer in a neighbourhood police precinct after a hostage crisis turned awry. I recommend those who want to watch a movie with action, blood and the obligatory gore to watch Hostage. At least it was a tad better than Assault on Precinct 13 which I watched not too long ago.


Never argue with the baldie with the fuckin' gun

The rest of the poly chums were meanwhile in Bishan engaging in another round of badminton but so sorry guys that I cannot make it this week. We play again when I get back alrite? Hoped you all had fun. Anyhow, I hope I can get Internet access while in Korea and the States so that I can update with some texts and pictures. Hmm, it will be a constructive thing to do while killing time in the hotel room by my lonesome.


Hotel rooms can actually be quite huge especially when you are alone...

Well, it's late in the night now and my eyes are getting heavy. Work lately has been tiring and I cannot help but feel a sense of fatigue creeping in. Today, I printed an application form for a job in MOE and am going to sign up. Don't worry, future kids in Singapore are safe coz I ain't teaching but rather going for the post of Management Executive Officer or MXO for short. The opening pay is quite promising with promotions in store. Staff benefits are also a given as it a frickin' Government job. I hope I am selected to go for the selection process at least and let me know if I am cut out for the job.

Ok, will update on this as it comes along. Meanwhile here's a song I pretty much like now:

You're alone all time
Does it ever puzzle you, have you asked why
You seem to fall in love, out again
Do you ever really love or just pretend

Why fool yourself
Don't be afraid to help yourself
It's never too late, too late to

Stop, look
Listen to your heart, hear what it's saying
Stop, look
Listen to your heart, hear what it's saying
Love, love, love

Though you try, you can't hide
All the things you really feel, this time decide
That you will open up, let it in
There's no shame in sharing love you keep within

So jump on in
Head over heels, and fall right in
It's never too late too late to

Stop, look
Listen to your heart, hear what it's saying
Stop, look
Listen to your heart, hear what it's saying
Love, love, love

Stop, look
Listen to your heart, hear what it's saying (Listen to your heart, can't
you see it's not too late)
Stop, look
Listen to your heart, hear what it's saying (La, la, la, la, la, la, la)

Stop, look
Listen to your heart, hear what it's saying (Listen to your heart, can't
you see it's not too late)
Stop, look
Listen to your heart, hear what it's saying

- Michael McDonald and Toni Braxton, Stop, Look, Listen (to your heart)

It's been a long time...

Haha, it's been some time since I last blogged. Well, nothing much has happened for me those past days that I have been silent. Easter has come and gone, Jesus has died and risen, but still Life as a whole has to go on. God may be in His heaven but we Man still gotta do our work here.

Anyhow, work I did, but in another totally different way. In a crazy moment, I decided to take Jo out to MacRitchie to trek that hideous 20km walk up the treetops on Saturday. At first, the going was all right until the skies just turned black and rained on us. It's no normal rain mind you, but a total and unrelenting downpour!!

So imagine having to walk the rest of the way up ('cause we couldn't turn back as we were in too deep into the jungle) and walking down again in the storm. It's pure luck we didn't even catch a cold or fall sick. I think the trek toughened us a tad.

Well, now, I think I may want to do the trek for the third time but this time, we should walk all the way to Bukit Timah as I heard that there is a connecting path somewhere. Should be asking around for willing souls once I return from my work trip on the 9th (which is a Saturday).

Now don't ask me why but suddenly I feel like posting this song as I think I need some strong beats in my life right now.

[Verse 1]
You and me, we have an opportunity
And we could make it something really cool
But you, you think I'm not that kind of girl
I'm here to tell you baby, I know how to rock your world

[Bridge]

Don't think that I'm not strong
I'm the one to take you on
Don't underestimate me boy
I'll make you sorry you were born
You don't know me
The way you really should
You sure misunderstood

[Chorus]

Dont' call me baby
You got some nerve, and baby that'll never do
You know I don't belong t o you
It's time you knew I'm not your baby
I belong to me, so
Don't call me baby

[Verse 2]

Behind my smile is my IQ
I must admit, this does not sit, with the likes of you
You're really sweet
Mmm, you're really nice
But didn't mama ever tell you not to play with fire?

- Madison Avenue, Don't Call Me Baby

Eeps, fiery bitch there...

Off Tomorrow...

So tomorrow's Thursday, but I will be on off. At least I will get to enjoy one day of holiday more than any other average Singapore worker; but it's not gonna be all idle for me for I will be heading down to the nearest driving school to fix up my PDL (Provisional Driving License).

Hopefully, I will be flashing my real license soon after my practical lessons and get one milestone of my life over and done with.

The month is still long before its end and I am nearing broke...this is sucky man. Gotta endure, gotta endure...

Lauren and Nani, if you are reading this, I wish you all a pleasant trip to the land of the Sawadee Kap and beautiful she-males. Don't forget to show us some photos the next time we meet up.

Till the next time folks.

Grand Prix Singapore!

Last Saturday saw many international Magic players coming here to compete in the Singapore Grand Prix tournament, with some coming from as far as the Netherlands!

Well, I was there and due to the fact that there were over 300 players, each player will have to face off with eight other players in order to try to proceed to the top 64 spots and come back on Sunday for the second day of competition.

Each round with an opponent consisted of three games and the results will be best of the three games. Win two and you are through. For the day, I played a mono-red deck built along the Sligh game philosophy which entails getting out small, aggressive creatures and using my direct burn spells to kill opposing creatures and then attacking with my own.

The strategy seemed to work for the first two match-ups which I basically blazed through. Man, my morale then was sky high sia! I played a roguish blue-black control with Isochron Scepter to imprint counterspells and bounce. (Forgive me, if you don't understand a bloody word of what I am typing, but you can also access www.magicthegathering.com to know more), I basically burned right through him as he got either mana screwed or he had no creatures on board.


That's the bloody Isochron Scepter

The second match was against a mono-red goblin deck of a Thai player which is the epitome of aggressiveness since the little red men just kept a-coming under the power of the Goblin Warchief which is one hell of a card (it gave goblins haste - being able to attack once they are out and made them cost less to play). I burned off the Warchief and he played a Siege-Gang Commander which was a goblin that took three other little 1/1 goblins with him. I shocked the Commander in response and Starstorm-ed for one, killing the rest of the 1/1 critters. Haha, that to me was one of my moments of memorable play since Starstorm was a card that I added in the last minute before the tournament and it will save my butt for many time after this match.


The Warchief...dangerous little thing, have to kill if you see him


The Siege-Gang Commander which is quite dangerous if you let him live as he can effectively make useless goblins into direct damage...must kill also


Starstorm - Red's only Instant speed mass kill spell

The Thai player was stunned by this turn of events and I went on to beat him 2-0, grabbing the match super quick. My gosh, I was doing too well to my expectations (I expected to lose you see, coz goblins were hard to beat, let alone beat it 2-0, even my friends were surprised).

Anyhow, the third to eighth matches, I lost straight as my red deck just cannot handle the tough decks that were all up there and I didn't have the money to buy all the essential cards which cost bombs, arms and legs.

But I will definitely try again for competitions next year and the years after since I can buy my desired cards now as I got a job. :) Tournaments are also a good way to know people. I made friends with local traders who gave me discounts for purchases, fellow players whom I can exchange pointers with as well as international players from different walks of life. I actually got to know a Dutch flight steward working for KNM who happened to be in Singapore for the two days the Grand Prix was ongoing and he came down to play.

Magic is so darn fun, Ismail should know. Maybe next year, I am gonna run a Green-White deck with Astral Slide and Eternal Witness.

Oh, for the sake of trivia, an old time Japanese player won the Singapore Grand Prix after all the battle. He was undefeated in all 8 games on the first day somemore. Gulp...

Anyhow, here's an ode to my red deck of fiery burn, which I spent 6 months in learning about its philosophy and play tactics...am gonna break it up and make a new deck with the components to compete in another tournament.

You shake my nerves and you rattle my brain
Too much of love drives a man insane
You broke my will, but what a thrill
Goodness gracious great balls of fire

{ band joins }

I laughed at love 'cause I thought it was funny
You came along and you moved me honey
I changed my mind, looking fine
Goodness gracious great balls of fire

You kissed me baby, woo.....it feels good
Hold me baby, girl just let me love you like a lover should
You're fine, so kind
I'm a tell this world that your mine mine mine mine-ine

I chew my nails and I twiddle my thumbs
I'm really nervous but it sure is fun
Come on baby, you drive me crazy
Goodness gracious great balls of fire

{ piano solo }

Well kiss me baby, woo-oooooo....it feels good
Hold me baby
I want to love you like a lover should
You're fine, so kind
I got to tell this world that your mine mine mine mine-ine

I chew my nails and I twiddle my thumbs
I'm real nervous 'cause it sure is fun
Come on baby, you drive me crazy
Goodness gracious great balls of fire

{ guitar solo }

{ piano solo }

{ guitar and piano jam }

I say goodness gracious great balls of fire...oooh...

- Jerry Lee Lewis, Great Balls of Fire

If you wondered what kind of pussy I am, here's the answer.

You scored as Pissed at the World Cat. And here we have the next serial killer. Try having some cotton candy, it'll make you feel all warm and fuzzy inside, Psycho. Pissed at the World Cat 100% Couch Potato Cat 83% Love Machine Cat 33% Ninja Cat 33% Derranged Cat 17% Drunk Cat 0% Nerd Cat 0% Which Absurd Cat are you? created with QuizFarm.com

Hahaha! 100% some more, I sure am pissed!

Tense...

Just came back from visiting my friend at KK hospital. Seeing that she is ok and so is her baby boy, i am relieved. The sight of the little one is enough to give me the jittery feeling though, the little..thing is so soft and fragile. I would be damn scared to handle it loh, let alone bathe and feed it. I really kowtow the womenfolk who have to handle infants. Maybe that's why Mother's Day is always celebrated with more pomp than Father's Day, after all, all we men need to do is to plant the seeds.

The women gotta harvest the stuff. Oh boy...

Anyhow, this whole week has been kind of hectic for me, I have been sleeping pretty late these few days as I am busily sorting and re-sorting my competing deck as well as testing it to see its consistency and power for the coming tournament on Saturday.

The difficult part about this whole operation is determining which cards can be used and which cannot as there is a format to this tournament and certain older cards cannot be used anymore. Needless to say, my competing deck has got some powerful, albeit old cards that need to be taken out and replaced with more contemporary ones. That's only the first step coz I have got a few hundreds of possible cards that can fill in the slots, the onus is on me to select the most suitable ones...

There's also the headache inducing process of forming the Sideboard to the deck which serves as situational solutions to the opposing decks I think I will face. This is the most difficult part of forming the complete deck (a deck is made up of 60 maindeck and 15 sideboard cards) as the variety of enemy decks is very diverse and the sideboard is only allowed (as mentioned) 15 cards as possible answers to them. Phew, boy it's tough.

So, here am I, blogging this entry and studying the intricacies of other opposing decks online, hoping to find some guiding light. Wish me luck on Saturday folks.

God, please let me make it to the Top 16, I need some dough. Amen.

You scored as Christianity. Your views are most similar to those of Christianity. Do more research on Christianity and possibly consider being baptized and accepting Jesus, if you aren't already Christian. Christianity is the second of the Abrahamic faiths; it follows Judaism and is followed by Islam. It differs in its belief of Jesus, as not a prophet nor historical figure, but as God in human form. The Holy Trinity is the concept that God takes three forms: the Father, the Son (Jesus), and the Holy Ghost (sometimes called Holy Spirit). Jesus taught the idea of instead of seeking revenge, one should love his or her neighbors and enemies. Christians believe that Jesus died on the cross to save humankind and forgive people's sins. Christianity 83% Buddhism 54% Judaism 33% Hinduism 25% Paganism 17% Islam 17% agnosticism 0% Satanism 0% atheism 0% Which religion is the right one for you? (new version) created with QuizFarm.com

Haha, I think I should be relieved as well. Feel that lately I could have slacked off in my faith a bit...

Alleluia.

OMG!!! It's ALIVE!!!

At long last, here am I, at home blogging! My computer is now back in its own snug little corner in my PC and gaming room.

The feeling is darn sweet!

When the Boss is away, the employees come out to play...

Boss is currently away in KL till Thursday so that means no arrows coming my way until he comes back and it helps that the production of the April is almost done on my front. Yes...I can afford to slack off at work for a few days before May production comes around the corner. Well, it's basically like this in the publication line, but as long as the job is something I still like to do, I ain't complaining. Besides, if I really wanna psyche myself, I just tell myself that I am paid playing games. It doesn't get better than that...at least sometimes, this is true.

A friend of mine is going to give birth soon and she is currently warded in KK Hospital, thinking of going to see her today. Apparently the little guy is going to be named Gabriel and I am kinda the god father of the child...sheesh, dunno if I can really fill this shoes or not. Emily, if you are reading this, it probably means you have already been discharged but I still wish you a smooth delivery. God bless you and your child! :)

Lately, I am feeling excited with the upcoming Magic tournament that will be held this weekend (19th and 20th of March) at Suntec City. Have been toying with the idea of joining since a couple of my decks could actually be used. And since I will be entering the competition by playing the amateur league, the chance of me actually walking away with honors is there. Apparently the prize for being able to make it into the Top 16 is a cool USD$250 and I could do with the extra dough. However, I need to make an investment of $30 to even join the tournament and it could all come to naught so I am still thinking about it. If not, I could play with some of the pros there and get some valuable experience since them big time professionals from USA, Europe and other parts of Asia will be coming to Singapore for their share of the booty.

Sunday is drawing closer, I wish the zoo trip materialises although I have recently been there with my fave poly gang (you know who you are!), feeding the baboons again will be an experience to be had again, that's for sure.

Ok, ok, I know I have been posting Maroon 5's (Moron 5, according to one of my colleagues) songs pretty often but this third single is kinda chirpy and upbeat at the same time. Something I wish to be if I am meeting her for the zoo trip...


Hoping the weather and the both of us can end up as beautiful as this...sigh

Sunday morning rain is falling
Steal some covers share some skin
Clouds are shrouding us in moments unforgettable
You twist to fit the mold that I am in
But things just get so crazy living life gets hard to do
And I would gladly hit the road get up and go if I knew
That someday it would lead me back to you
That someday it would lead me back to you

That may be all I need
In darkness she is all I see
Come and rest your bones with me
Driving slow on Sunday morning
And I never want to leave

Fingers trace your every outline
Paint a picture with my hands
Back and forth we sway like branches in a storm
Change the weather still together when it ends

That may be all I need
In darkness she is all I see
Come and rest your bones with me
Driving slow on Sunday morning
And I never want to leave

But things just get so crazy living life gets hard to do
Sunday morning rain is falling and I'm calling out to you
Singing someday it'll bring me back to you
Find a way to bring myself back home to you

And you may not know
That may be all I need
In darkness she is all I see
Come and rest your bones with me
Driving slow on Sunday morning

- Maroon 5, Sunday Morning

Oh man, Mona, how can I ever forget those 80s shows???

Just read Mona's blog and came away feeling nostalgic and thought to myself, "Shucks, have we really aged?? The 80s seemed not so long ago..." Now maybe that's the sign of aging. Anyhow, I must say that I have never really caught those shows you mentioned although I did like Airwolf, The A Team, Knight Rider a whole lot!! And who can forget shows like "V" and "Manimal" (dunno if it's the right spelling), where the lead guy can morph into animals! It's cool to a kid back then but I seriously dunno how I will feel if I were to watch it again. Will it appear super cheesy and campy? I prefer to remember these programmes instead. Well, doing so keeps them a little special that way...


Look at those hair from Manimal! O__o

I was more in tuned with the cartoons then. I loved Visionaries, Starcom, the ubiquitous He-Man and She-Ra, Centurions, Care Bears, Pirates of the Dark Water, Teddy Ruxpin (gasp) and many, many others, the list just goes on. Sigh, if they have DVDs on these shows, I would seriously think of buying them. They were a part of my childhood which I am only too reluctant to let go.


The Knights of the Magical Light - The Visionaries!

Growing up is such a pain.

My computer is ok!!

With a sigh of relief, I can say now that my PC is back functional status, I just need to bring it home and I will be online...coz I am rather lonely now at home since my mum and sister went off to Shanghai on Sunday morning.

Which means, I gotta wash my clothes, clean the bloddy house and all the chores by myself - making me a desperate houseman. But the advantage is I get the whole establishment to myself now and nobody to nag at me, yay!

Things have somewhat cooled off for the both of us although we are still very much in contact. She told me of getting a zoo pass (apparently it's one of the many obscene staff perks over at M1) which will allow us to go the zoo for free. To be truthful, I am glad she asked me to go. She also told me she will be on off throughout the Good Friday weekend, maybe it's a good chance to meet with her and have a good round of talk.

Is there still a chance? I don't know, let time tell.

Sigh, I do miss her so.

I am sorry guys for missing out on yet another would-be fruitful Malay language class last weekend, haha. But I will try to make it to the other outings. :)

Till the the next post, folks.

PS: If I have Net access in Korea and USA, I will update my blog with pictures of the places, so stay tuned ;).

Here's a song I found meaningful...

(Aaah - Aaah)

Cross a windy bridge one winter night
Past Embankment Gardens enter warmth and light
Face the music (It's never easy)
Forget the chill
Face the future (It's never easy)
Find the will

If life is worth living, it's got to be done
One might be forgiven for thinking it's a life on the run
Many roads will cross through many lives
But somehow you survive

(Oooh, aaah)

Look around, picture what's in store
Is this the final edit, or is the subject now a bore?
Don't shrug your shoulders (It's always easy)
You can't ignore

That life is worth living, it's still worth a damn
One might be forgiven for thinking it's something of a sham
Many words may make it sound contrived
But somehow we're alive

The survivors - Our heads bowed
The survivors - At memorials for other faces in the crowd

Teachers and artists (It's never easy)
And Saturday girls
In suits or sequins (It's never easy)
Or twinsets-and-pearls

If life is worth living, (If life is worth living)
It's got to be run (It's got to be run)
As a means of giving, (As a means of giving)
Not as a race (race) to be won (not to be won)
Many roads will run through many lives
But somehow we'll arrive

(Oooh, aaah, aaah)

Many roads will run through many lives
But somewhere we'll survive

- The Pet Shop Boys, The Survivors

Non-Sequitur

To dear J,

I really hope we can make things work, and if we are meant to be we will be...no matter how cliched it sounds. Just gotta take it easy and see how things go. I know the things I said yesterday may not go down well with you but it's really how I felt on and off throughout the recent weeks and months and I have to let it out. We cried over this and came back out stronger (I hope), but ultimately I wanna let you know that all I want is a relationship that I can be myself and be fully accepted as such. I will also do the same to you as I think we may be too old for games...well at least this applies to me. I guess our problems stem from unrealistic expectations on both of our parts and a huge amount of stress inflicted as a result of us not getting what we want. Both of us know this is not really the end if we don't try so hard - something we may be doing for the longest time, culminating in tiredness and regret. Regret not meaning that what we did was wrong but rather for the fact that it could have been darn fine.

Yesterday and the days before I didn't get your SMSs as often as before, I started to miss you and thought how you were getting along. But I didn't message you immediately because I was afraid, afraid of getting it all started again and come away hurt once more. It's all so conflicting, isn't it? I told you about it and you said since we weren't like before and were supposed to take things easy, you didn't really SMS me. Hearing this, my heart was hurt but my mind told me it's the way to go. We shouldn't try too hard. Really.

Even the snacks you bought me, I didn't dare finish them for to me, they are the last physical vestiges of our memory...I know it's silly and it probably is.

All your life you've waited for love to come and stay
And now that I have found you, you must not slip away
I know it's hard believin' the words you've heard before
But darlin' you must trust them just once more... 'cause baby
Goodbye doesn't mean forever
Let me tell you goodbye doesn't mean
we'll never be together again
If you wake up and I'm not there, I won't be long away
'Cause the things you do my Goodbye Girl
Will bring me back to you.

I know you've been taken, afraid to hurt again
You fight the love you feel for me instead of givin' in
But I can wait forever, a-helpin' you to see
That I was meant for you and you for me
...so remember

Goodbye doesn't mean forever
Let me tell you goodbye doesn't mean
we'll never be together again
Though we may be so far apart you still will have my heart
So forget your past my Goodbye Girl
'Cause now you're home at last.

- David Gates (Bread), Goodbye Girl

I shall end this letter before I get uncontrollably emotional.

Yours sincerely,

J


*Slaps himself and wakes up to the real (a very subjective word indeed) world...*

Lazy as hell...

phew, it's nearing the end of another torturous day at work and God knows why I have been feeling more and more lazy and sluggish in my work lately. Is it because of boredom or is it because I do not feel fulfilled at all?

I really don't know but I do know that I am feeling an unprecedented sense of emptiness inside. It's somewhat similar to remembering that you forgot to take something when you go out of the house but you just don't know what it is until it's too late.

Recently, work has been piling up on me and the stress over my impending trip to Korea and USA in April is not helping. Firstly, I gotta face up to the possibility of loneliness and boredom when I am alone over there. This is comparatively a small problem when I tell you that I gotta whip up a 8 page content for the trip as well as the ongoing workload for the May issue which would have already be in the works when I get back...sigh. Sometimes, I have this love-hate relationship with business trips.

In response to an earlier post regarding me taking my FTT for my driving career, I have successfully passed my Advanced Theory Paper and am now en route to applying for my PDL (Provisional Driving License) in order to allow me to take practical lessons. I will have till 2007 July to do it so I am confident I can achieve the grand aim.


Singapore roads, wait for meeeee!!!!!!

And of course, I am absolutely drooling over the new Mini convertible which will put me back 132K if I am insane enough to procure it.


Jason, you can just dream on...

Besides the dream of getting my license, I am also taking my first steps in getting my much awaited downgrade which will make me undesirable for future NS call-ups. I have successfully gotten a contact of an Orthopaedic doctor in Mt. Alvernia and will soon be making that phone call. A three month MC will be good for starters...wahahaha!!!

These are now the two main goals in my life which I hope will materialise. 13 years of freedom and the ability to zip around town in a nifty automobile is good.

Very good indeed!

Malay redux

Ok, in response to my earlier blog entry on Malay swear words, some good pals have forwarded their take on my attempt to promote ghastly Malay and do Tamugi proud.

Yo, just read your blog. Thought I shld correct you on some of the Malay words' spelling, lol. Below are the ones that need correction.

pepek - also means chee bye

meleleh - dripping (this one's hilarious)

manis - sweet
mani - sperm
lancap - wank
pelancap - wanker
busuk - smelly

jahat - evil

That's all.

- Ismail (email)

Jason...dude, your spelling is ALL wrong ..hahahah...the correct spelling and definitions are in red ok?

puki - chee bye
peh peh - also means chee bye (pepek)
mer lay lay - dripping (this one's hilarious) (meleleh)
mak - mother
manis - sperm or it can mean sweet (manis means "sweet"..mani means "sperm" tho it can be the name of an indian man)
masam - sour
konek - dick
seks - sex
per lanchap - to wank (pelancap - a wanker , lancap - to wank)
malam - night
setiap malam - every night
jilat - to lick
kemaluan - genital (formal form)
kau - you
saya - I / Me
aku - me
busoh - smell (busuk = smelly! Smell is "bau" ,,, "bau busuk" is bad smell..or offensive smell)
macam - to be like
jahad - evil (jahat)
hisap - to suck


Pukimakkau - ly yours,
m

- Mona (email)

Till the next time, enjoy your puki manis, folks!

When your legs hurt and your Malay improves...

Went with Nani, Ismail and Mona on a journey to the very top of the MacRitchie Nature Reserve yesterday for a gruelling 20km trek that took us a whopping 4 hours!! We started out with high spirits from the start point at 2pm and came back as shacked and hungry and dirty jocks when it was 6pm plus.

The misery was however allayed with plenty of Malay jokes which courtesy of those three fellas, I understood and what's more, I managed to surprised them with some nifty linguistics with colloquial Malay swear words combined with dirty parts. Aye, t'was the dirty jokes that kept us going and going even though the steep incline towards the suspension bridge promptly claimed the girls.

Words cannot describe the feeling when you get up onto the treetops, 25m above the ground below and howling gales blowing into your tired faces. So that's how birds feel, no wonder we build planes and aspire to live in the clouds. Somehow, the problems we face in the world below fade away when we have our noses poking into the upper reaches of the atmosphere. Anyway, we took some crazy pictures on the bridge with quirky yoga poses (saluting the sun and the ohm pose) as well as wacky double chin shots. Oh the fun we had! Guys, we should do this more often!!


At the top of the world...

But argh, my legs hurt and my beloved yellow Addidas are now fraying coz of the tough hike through mud, granite and gravel...but it looks nicer somehow...

Had our dinner and lepak (chill out) session at the Adam Road Hawker Center and Serene Center respectively. Laughed till our tears rolled with Ismail's bashful recount of his love conquest and phrases for amputated body parts to dripping cocks. Haha, the guffaws were were as full flowing as our Coke Floats. Indeed, I liken Malay phrases and words to lego blocks - you can connect them to form new and funny phrases everyday.

Learnt a new Indian phrase -

Nan Unei Car-Di-Lik-A-Rain (this is purely by phonetics!!): I Love You

Courtesy of Nani and after endless bouts of Bollywood.

Jason's List of Malay building blocks - build yer own swear phrases!! (Phontics here, spelling may be wrong)

puki - chee bye
peh peh - also means chee bye
mer lay lay - dripping (this one's hilarious)
mak - mother
manis - sperm or it can mean sweet
masam - sour
konek - dick
seks - sex
per lanchap - to wank
malam - night
setiap malam - every night
jilat - to lick
kemaluan - genital (formal form)
kau - you
saya - I / Me
aku - me
busoh - smell
macam - to be like
jahad - evil
hisap - to suck

To illustrate how easy to build Malay phrases, here's an example.

May I lick your privates? is spoken as "Boleh (Can) Aku (Me) Jilat (Lick) Kemaluan (Genital) Kau (You)?"

See how easy it is to string phrases together?? You just need to know the basic building blocks aka the words (even if they are close in meaning, when they are put together in sentences, the whole idea can still be brought across). Haha...have fun with your Malay, folks!

Ismail has a girlfriend, Ismail has a girlfriend (to the tune of na na ni bu bu), whatever lah :)

Hey, it's Day One on Ground Zero for you dude. Wishing you the best between the both of you.

Welcome to the real world.

The song below is for you. Remember to tell yourself this message that the song is trying to tell you whenever you all have your tiffs. The days ahead will not be easy but love will hopefully see you through.

Don't go changing, to try and please me
You never let me down before
Don't imagine you're too familiar
And I don't see you anymore
I wouldn't leave you in times of trouble
We never could have come this far
I took the good times, I'll take the bad times
I'll take you just the way you are

Don't go trying some new fashion
Don't change the color of your hair
You always have my unspoken passion
Although I might not seem to care

I don't want clever conversation
I never want to work that hard
I just want someone that I can talk to
I want you just the way you are.

I need to know that you will always be
The same old someone that I knew
What will it take till you believe in me
The way that I believe in you.

I said I love you and that's forever
And this I promise from the heart
I could not love you any better
I love you just the way you are.

- Billy Joel, Just The Way You Are

Tough ain't Enough

What can I say at this moment? The issue at hand is already three days old but the waves are still hitting me now. Sometimes, for no reason at all, the sense of disbelief sets in and I think to myself, "Are these shit for real?". I pinched my arm and then discover that, yea, it is real.

Out of the sudden, the line from Million Dollar Baby came to mind, "Tough ain't Enough". Taking it out of context, if being tough as nails ain't enough to get you through life, then what are we really missing? Everyday we guys put on a mask of self-assurance and confidence when we are actually scared little jocks inside. You know what we were all taught when we were young? "Be a man!" "Don't cry or the girls will laugh at you." But when we grow up, we find that this no longer holds water but we are all too conditioned over this. We have to be tough, we have to be strong. But, but when all the dust has settled, if tough ain't enough, what is enough?


Girly tough ain't enough...

Listen as your day unfolds,
Challenge what the future holds
Try to keep your head up to the sky
Lovers they may cause you tears
Go ahead release your fears
Stand up and be counted,
Don't be shamed to cry
You gotta be.

Chorus:
You gotta be bad, you gotta be bold,
You gotta be wiser
You gotta be hard, you gotta be tough,
You gotta be stronger
You gotta be cool, you gotta be calm,
You gotta stay together.
All I know, all I know
Love will save the day

Herald what your mother said
Read the books your father read
Try to solve the puzzle
In your own sweet time
Some may have more cash than you
Others take a different view
My oh my,

Chorus:
You gotta be bad, you gotta be bold,
You gotta be wiser
You gotta be hard, you gotta be tough,
You gotta be stronger
You gotta be cool, you gotta be calm,
You gotta stay together.
All I know, all I know
Love will save the day

Time asks no questions, it goes on without you
Leaving you behind if you can't stand the pace
The world keeps on spinning, can't stop it if you tried to
The best part is danger staring you in the face

Remember Listen as your day unfolds,
Challenge what the future holds
Try to keep your head up to the sky
Lovers they may cause you tears
Go ahead release your fears
My oh my....

Chorus:
You gotta be bad, you gotta be bold,
You gotta be wiser
You gotta be hard, you gotta be tough,
You gotta be stronger
You gotta be cool, you gotta be calm,
You gotta stay together.
All I know, all I know
Love will save the day

Chorus:
You gotta be bad, you gotta be bold,
You gotta be wiser
You gotta be hard, you gotta be tough,
You gotta be stronger
You gotta be cool, you gotta be calm,
You gotta stay together.
All I know, all I know
Love will save the day

Got to be bold. Got to be bad
Got to be wise. Not ever sad
Got to be hard. Not too, too hard
All I know is, love will save the day

Chorus:
You gotta be bad, you gotta be bold,
You gotta be wiser
You gotta be hard, you gotta be tough,
You gotta be stronger
You gotta be cool, you gotta be calm,
You gotta stay together.
All I know, all I know
Love will save the day
(repeat till fade)

- Des'ree, (I Ain't Movin'), You Gotta Be

Talked to her over the phone yesterday 'cause she called me and asked for my final POV on the matter. I told her that we are not mutually exclusive anymore but we should still remain in contact. I added that now, what we should really find out is what on earth do we really need and look for in life and in our partners.

Both of us must take on this journey of self-discovery to get to know those stuff that we really wanted to know but were afraid to step out and find out. Maybe it will take years and years but I believe if we are truely meant to be, we will be back together again. If not, it will always be for the better as either she or I have found a more suitable other half.

(Believe me when I was telling her all these, my mind was in two, "Don't you dare tell her such things, you are closing your possibilities!!!" nudged one side. "You better get this over with Jason, you need to get a life with a capital L!!!" screamed the other. Argh!!!!)

It's a win-win situation, isn't it?

Isn't it?

In short, I am not closing any doors on my side. I cannot speak the same for her though. Only time will tell.

Thank God for good friends

I wanna thank all of you who have in some way tried to uplift me and make me feel better in the days that have passed. I am glad that even a loner as I can boast of friends like you all, I am blessed indeed. Sometimes the smallest blessings do matter and strange that only in times of hardship can we see it. I am not claiming to be a better, more appreciative person now but I do know that I have routes to aid should I ever need those. You know who you are, 'cause I will be seeing some of you on Sunday for an exciting trek up to the MacRitchie treetops.

Tough, you think you`ve got the stuff
You`re telling me and anyone
You`re hard enough

You don`t have to put up a fight
You don`t have to always be right
Let me take some of the punches
For you tonight

Listen to me now
I need to let you know
You don`t have to go it alone

And it`s you when I look in the mirror
And it`s you when I don`t pick up the phone
Sometimes you can`t make it on your own

We fight all the time
You and I... that`s alright
We`re the same soul
I don`t need... I don`t need to hear you say
That if we weren`t so alike
You`d like me a whole lot more

Listen to me now
I need to let you know
You don`t have to go it alone

And it`s you when I look in the mirror
And it`s you when I don`t pick up the phone
Sometimes you can`t make it on your own

I know that we don`t talk
I`m sick of it all
Can you hear me when I Sing,
you`re the reason I sing
You`re the reason why the opera is in me

Where are we now?
I`ve got to let you know
A house still doesn`t make a home
Don`t leave me here alone

And it`s you when I look in the mirror
And it`s you that makes it hard to let go
Sometimes you can`t make it on your own
Sometimes you can`t make it
The best you can do is to fake it
Sometimes you can`t make it on your own

- U2, Sometimes You Can't Make It On Your Own

Later part of the day, I will be catching Howl's Moving Castle with her as I already promised her a screening long before all this madness began and I would like to honor my word whether she be my lover or no. Simply because we are both Hayao's fans and also I still do see her as my closest someone whom I don't mind to spend time with. I admit I do miss her, really (God knows the time I spend alone, thinking of the times we had), but I need to keep an open mind about this and keep my head on.

She is just a friend for now.


I think I need a floating castle to run away from it all...

It's a rainy day today, my heart has gone to sleep.

The sounds of rain pattering on my window and my mum closing the door to go to work awoken me from my dreamless sleep. I found it hard to wake up actually, somehow if your heart is heavy, your body will feel the whole weight as well. But I crept out of my bed anyhow.

The reason for my listlessness stems from a few SMS that were exchanged between me and Jo the night before as she felt sad all of the sudden. Whilst I tried to comfort her and keep her faith up, I cannot help but be affected. After all, this is somebody I would have comforted more weeks or even days before. But the circumstance now does not allow me that although it's more of a conscious choice than anything else. I am worried that if we got back together the same old problems will surface and cause stress once more. But my heart is still aching every now and then, I do not know what to do anymore. The date when we will be closing the account is nearing and somehow, I don't really want it to come any faster. I am really in a conflict now, full of opposing thoughts and clashing sentiments.

This morning she SMS me again regarding her frustrations at work and the thoughts of quitting that she has harbored for some time but didn't really went for it. I told her (and she understood) that she still had MOE's bond damages to pay for and furthermore, M1 where she is working at is quite a stable company with some good money so she should not even quit even if the manager ticks her off without tact. I added that managers and bosses need not be tactful and that everywhere has its own frustrations. I hope she listens to me and not make the same old rash choices she made during her NIE days which resulted in her owing dough to MOE.

"If you wanna rant, call me. Keep the job"

This was what I told her, I really don't know if I am equipped to hear her out and saddle her problems but if there's anyway I can alleviate her pain, even if it's just a little. I am willing to listen and give her advise; although I think she knows the solutions already but just don't want to see it.

But mind you all, this is not a direct result of a guilty feeling that we are currently apart but rather I am genuinely concerned and I don't really wish to see her spoil her life. It's really a pain to go watching people do that.

It's even more painful when you know that the person in question was somebody you thought you had a future with, but it's so unclear now.

You Are Far
When i could have been your star
You listened to people
Who scared you to death, and from my heart
Strange that you were strong enough
To even make a start
But you'll never find
Peace of mind,
Til you listen to your heart

People
You can never change the way they feet
Better let them do just what they will
For they will
If you let them
Steal your heart from you
People
Will always make a lover feel a fool
But you knew i loved you
We could have shown them all
We should have seen love through

Fooled me with the tears in your eyes
Covered me with kisses and lies
So goodbye
But please don't take my heart

You are far
I'm never gonna be your star
I'll pick up the pieces
And mend my heart
Maybe i'll be strong enough
I don't know where to start
But i'll never find
Peace of mind
While i listen to my heart

People
You can never change the way they feel
Better let them do just what they will,
For they will
If you let them
Steal your heart

And people
Will always make a lover feel a fool
But you knew i loved you
We could have shown them all

But remember this
Every other kiss
That you ever give
Long as we both live
When you need the hand of another man
One you really can surrender with
I will wait for you
Like i always do
There's something there
That can't compare with any other

You are far
When i could have been your star
You listened to people
Who scared you to death, and from my heart
Strange that i was wrong enough
To think you'd love me too
I guess you were kissing a fool
You must have been kissing a fool

- George Michael, Kissing A Fool

This song never fails to make me sad. It's a slow number and melodiously tragic..."we could have shown them all..."

Sigh.

Meow!

Leo Kissing Horoscope

Your kisses are wild and uninhibited, biting and clawing; you expect applause for your performance. Your Relationship Potential: It could be a fun fling, or it could be the love of your life. Sample your free reading for more details.

What's Your Kissing Horoscope?.

You Are Depressed

No doubt about it, you're feeling very down. Maybe you've had a bad day, or maybe you need help. Either way, make sure to take good care of yourself right now.

What Mood Are You In?

Yes, I don't need a rocket scientist to tell me that...