Out of the sudden, the line from Million Dollar Baby came to mind, "Tough ain't Enough". Taking it out of context, if being tough as nails ain't enough to get you through life, then what are we really missing? Everyday we guys put on a mask of self-assurance and confidence when we are actually scared little jocks inside. You know what we were all taught when we were young? "Be a man!" "Don't cry or the girls will laugh at you." But when we grow up, we find that this no longer holds water but we are all too conditioned over this. We have to be tough, we have to be strong. But, but when all the dust has settled, if tough ain't enough, what is enough?
Girly tough ain't enough...
Listen as your day unfolds,
Challenge what the future holds
Try to keep your head up to the sky
Lovers they may cause you tears
Go ahead release your fears
Stand up and be counted,
Don't be shamed to cry
You gotta be.
Chorus:
You gotta be bad, you gotta be bold,
You gotta be wiser
You gotta be hard, you gotta be tough,
You gotta be stronger
You gotta be cool, you gotta be calm,
You gotta stay together.
All I know, all I know
Love will save the day
Herald what your mother said
Read the books your father read
Try to solve the puzzle
In your own sweet time
Some may have more cash than you
Others take a different view
My oh my,
Chorus:
You gotta be bad, you gotta be bold,
You gotta be wiser
You gotta be hard, you gotta be tough,
You gotta be stronger
You gotta be cool, you gotta be calm,
You gotta stay together.
All I know, all I know
Love will save the day
Time asks no questions, it goes on without you
Leaving you behind if you can't stand the pace
The world keeps on spinning, can't stop it if you tried to
The best part is danger staring you in the face
Remember Listen as your day unfolds,
Challenge what the future holds
Try to keep your head up to the sky
Lovers they may cause you tears
Go ahead release your fears
My oh my....
Chorus:
You gotta be bad, you gotta be bold,
You gotta be wiser
You gotta be hard, you gotta be tough,
You gotta be stronger
You gotta be cool, you gotta be calm,
You gotta stay together.
All I know, all I know
Love will save the day
Chorus:
You gotta be bad, you gotta be bold,
You gotta be wiser
You gotta be hard, you gotta be tough,
You gotta be stronger
You gotta be cool, you gotta be calm,
You gotta stay together.
All I know, all I know
Love will save the day
Got to be bold. Got to be bad
Got to be wise. Not ever sad
Got to be hard. Not too, too hard
All I know is, love will save the day
Chorus:
You gotta be bad, you gotta be bold,
You gotta be wiser
You gotta be hard, you gotta be tough,
You gotta be stronger
You gotta be cool, you gotta be calm,
You gotta stay together.
All I know, all I know
Love will save the day
(repeat till fade)
- Des'ree, (I Ain't Movin'), You Gotta Be
Talked to her over the phone yesterday 'cause she called me and asked for my final POV on the matter. I told her that we are not mutually exclusive anymore but we should still remain in contact. I added that now, what we should really find out is what on earth do we really need and look for in life and in our partners.
Both of us must take on this journey of self-discovery to get to know those stuff that we really wanted to know but were afraid to step out and find out. Maybe it will take years and years but I believe if we are truely meant to be, we will be back together again. If not, it will always be for the better as either she or I have found a more suitable other half.
(Believe me when I was telling her all these, my mind was in two, "Don't you dare tell her such things, you are closing your possibilities!!!" nudged one side. "You better get this over with Jason, you need to get a life with a capital L!!!" screamed the other. Argh!!!!)
It's a win-win situation, isn't it?
Isn't it?
In short, I am not closing any doors on my side. I cannot speak the same for her though. Only time will tell.
Thank God for good friends
I wanna thank all of you who have in some way tried to uplift me and make me feel better in the days that have passed. I am glad that even a loner as I can boast of friends like you all, I am blessed indeed. Sometimes the smallest blessings do matter and strange that only in times of hardship can we see it. I am not claiming to be a better, more appreciative person now but I do know that I have routes to aid should I ever need those. You know who you are, 'cause I will be seeing some of you on Sunday for an exciting trek up to the MacRitchie treetops.
Tough, you think you`ve got the stuff
You`re telling me and anyone
You`re hard enough
You don`t have to put up a fight
You don`t have to always be right
Let me take some of the punches
For you tonight
Listen to me now
I need to let you know
You don`t have to go it alone
And it`s you when I look in the mirror
And it`s you when I don`t pick up the phone
Sometimes you can`t make it on your own
We fight all the time
You and I... that`s alright
We`re the same soul
I don`t need... I don`t need to hear you say
That if we weren`t so alike
You`d like me a whole lot more
Listen to me now
I need to let you know
You don`t have to go it alone
And it`s you when I look in the mirror
And it`s you when I don`t pick up the phone
Sometimes you can`t make it on your own
I know that we don`t talk
I`m sick of it all
Can you hear me when I Sing,
you`re the reason I sing
You`re the reason why the opera is in me
Where are we now?
I`ve got to let you know
A house still doesn`t make a home
Don`t leave me here alone
And it`s you when I look in the mirror
And it`s you that makes it hard to let go
Sometimes you can`t make it on your own
Sometimes you can`t make it
The best you can do is to fake it
Sometimes you can`t make it on your own
- U2, Sometimes You Can't Make It On Your Own
Later part of the day, I will be catching Howl's Moving Castle with her as I already promised her a screening long before all this madness began and I would like to honor my word whether she be my lover or no. Simply because we are both Hayao's fans and also I still do see her as my closest someone whom I don't mind to spend time with. I admit I do miss her, really (God knows the time I spend alone, thinking of the times we had), but I need to keep an open mind about this and keep my head on.
She is just a friend for now.
I think I need a floating castle to run away from it all...
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