So 2005 has come and gone and 2006 has risen to take its place not more than 12 hours ago as I am typing this now. So the question remains, "what now?" Barring making cheesy and oft ineffective resoultions for the new year, maybe we should really ask ourselves what do we want out of 2006.
For me, 2005 has been tumultous, not because I have had a stormy year but rahter certain events have happened that will undoubtedly and indelibly change my life and lifestyle from hence on. I look back at 2005 and see many happy things, meetings, encounters and events that I would love to reminisce every once in a while and smile to myself but 2005 also had its fair share of unhappiness, quarrels and work-related woes that if I were to list them here, it will be a drudgery and a waste of my time. After all,sleeping dogs should just lie, it's no use awakening them.
Well, 2005 had me propose to this girl I love and luckily for me, she said yes and we are now looking at some 50+ years of life together. How to make of it? Will it be different from the days when we were just "steads"? Hell yeah. Can we handle life from now on? I really don't know. Marriage to me now brings along many uncertainties and unknown factors that will make any chaos theorist cringe. But I know for certain that I don't mind braving all these as long as my gal stands with me. Although we have a lot of times suffered from unhappiness and petty oral fisticuffs, but it will always be over pretty soon with a few kind words, a hug and kisses. However, the question is, will our relationship grow stronger as a result of these conflicts? I don't know but I am willing to try. Again after all, we have 50+ years to learn the ropes.
They often say that being married is only the start of knowing. Perhaps it's true.
2005 also saw me spending time with those I hold value. Friends that have walked with me through the ages and years and lifted each other with mirth and empathy. Although I have never really met up with them very very regularly, but every meeting brings with it memories to be treasured and advice that can be kept in the heart. My dear friends, you know who you are. I know I have thanked you all many times on this blog, but on the cusp of the new year ahead, I want to thank you a whole bunch more. Let's continue to hold and stick together in the next 12 months. Even though some of you may get hitched or married, things will not be any different, should not be any different.
Work, work, work, oh how I hate thee. But yet, I still have to soldier on if not for the money (what money?). Anyhow, I pray to the one above that He will let me find the next dream job. Not that I hate what I am doing now per se, it's just that it's an area that I have almost no connection with. I have no roots in it and although I have sort of assimilated into the fold for these past two years, I still feel no affinity for it. I love to write but not for the stuff I am writing now. I hope to write a book, but I kinda fear that it will not sell anyway and I will starve.
I want to write about travel, but heck, I don't really get to go out very much.
What the hell. I also don't know what I want. Yes, I am 25 going on 26 and yes, I am still stuck in the rut - the gutter of life; not know what I want and yet fearing to take a step out because I got so much at stake. I am 25 going on 26 and still broke at the end of every month.
Will 2006 be any different? Well, I hope it will be.
I want it to.
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