That's why I don't have savings, says she.
Well, it's easy to understand concept but relatively tough to practice since we are so caught up with everyday life, work and personal issues that very often we forget what it means to live until the day Death stares at us straight in the face and asks us what have we done. Sad to say, most of us would probably be wont of an answer.
Read Starix's blog about her grandmother and her failure to visit the old lady before she passed away, it moved me a little because it made me feel better that at least I was at my Dad's side when he left. Small consolation maybe but it's better than nothing. You know what, for the first time, I went up to my mum and told her, "I am glad you are alive," to her bewilderment of course. But I just have to say it before I left the house because God knows whether that will be the last time I see her for the day, possibly forever. People who know me will probably know that normally I am not really on talking terms with my mum as she drives me abso-freaking-lutely mad sometimes but somehow, something came over me that day on that moment to say what I said that was probably never going to be said to her in my normal moments (if you get what I mean coz we aren't exactly mushy people, haha), aw man, you all should have seen the look on her face when I went over to pat her on the shoulder and said what I said above. I bet she was thinking, "I think he is going to ask me a favor again." Hahaha.
Traditional Chinese may go, "choy!" but I just want to be thankful of every minute that my family and friends and my love is by my side. They may not be perfect and we may have our conflicts, but undeniably they are the ones who have impact my life in one way or another, big or small and it stands to reason that at the end of the day I will go before God and say that I am glad to have them even though I may be harboring angry thoughts at them.
That's also the reason why I am such a prude when it comes to conflicts. Jo, if you are reading this, I want to tell you that this is the reason why I am always seemingly want to get a particular quarrel or argument out of our way that it feels like I am rushing to get it over with. This is because I fear that we will part with unpleasant words and hurtful statements and that could be the last things we say to each other. Morbid right? But I beg to differ, some of you may understand this more than the others, I dunno.
Alright man, wake up from your sordid thought, maybe it's the weather, it's storming as I am typing this...
